·:[ Far removed from the womb ]:·
• • • • •

Steroid Pills. Let’s see if this works.

What makes people compelled to lie to me? Honestly. I’m not going to say that I have lied to people in the past, but I have been beyond doing that now. Too much garbage and mindless banter filling my surroundings, so I hack the foliage with the same club that I can use to knock down the next miscreant that coooooon-tinues to lie to me.

Be straightforward with me, and you get the same. Your chosen god of the week help you if I discover your holes.

I need new music to listen to. Someone wake me up when Protest The Hero comes out with their new album in 2008. I’ll be over here with my Coalesce DVD’s and Sour Starburst.

All this for a pack of smokes? Give me a break.

I went to my all-time favorite store in the entire universe last night, 7-Eleven. How I adore their high prices. They are the Wal-Mart of convenience stores. So…I go into the store. Get my 2x CFDC 20oz. Approach the counter to pay for this wonderful substance. Thank my lucky stars that I pre-lubed my ass before I arrived as I am looking at the cigarette prices.

“Pack of Basic lights, soft pack”

“Can I see your ID?”

I open my wallet, and show it to him. He asks me to take it out. I had him my ID, he is looking at it, looking at me. looking at it, looking at me. looking at it, looking at me. It’s not a fucking picture puzzle “Spot the difference between these 2 photos” or even a frigging game of “Where’s Waldo?” Its my driver’s license. Check the DOB. 06/27/1979. Same birthdate as Ross Perot, Tobey MacGuire. Hellen Keller. I’m 28. ~ + 10 years past the age you need to be to get smokes in this country.

Give me my smokes.

He then procees to use the scanner to “run” my driver’s license through, like a credit card. He is having difficulty. Of course he is. That “magnetic” strip that someone thought would be a good idea is worn off. It does that after six months. Whomever thought that would be a good idea to put a strip on the back of a MI driver’s license should have a strip of their own on their face. From a tire iron.

So, he can’t get the strip to work. He can’t do simple math, we have to have machines tell us how much change to dull out to a customer. i.e. “You total is $8.58, they get handed a 10 dollar bill.” If there is not 3 calculators, a cash register, a marching band, and balloons telling the 7-Eleven cashier how much they should hand back to the customer, they are screwed. So, overall, he refuses to sell me the smokes, because he “cannot verify my age.”

Mind you, this dude behind the counter looks like he fell out of his mom 18 years and 9 days ago.

I go to this store 3-4 times a week, this guy HAS seen me before, and I HAVE purchased smokes from them before. But, since this particular 7-Eleven is under new management, and they fired everyone that had a criminal background (i.e. all the people working there) they have become more strict with ther ID policy. Which I can understand. I have no problem taking out my ID to be “validated” however, it’s..only…a ..pack..of ..smokes. It should NOT take 10 minutes, and a portfolio of papers, notes, and certificates to get a pack of smokes.

Right before I decide to take out my baseball bat that I carry around with me, you know, the one that says “Card THIS!” on the handle, one of the other guys that works there emerges from the backroom, immediately identifies me as a “regular” (ooh…status symbol!) and tells the other person it’s okay to sell to me.

I know there are more important things to rant about, but, my GOD. Did I need a cigarette after that.

Anneke

I just seen a Brinks Home Security Commercial (link) ..and it was just the exact same as the last 40+ commercials that I have seen (and, yes, I DO remeber each and every commercial that I see. Ever. In my life.) It shows the mom, at home, with her picture perfect children, and it shows a man, some white guy, with long scraggly hair, dressed up in dark clothing and a black leather jacket.

Now, that is very stereotypical. I know they are attempting to advertise a home security product, and what better way to do it than to show a scenario as to what can happen, leaving the viewer with the possibility of what could have happened if they didn’t have this product installed in their home. I mean, hell, my mother has one, and she is never sorry that she had one installed, but the point is, that they are making us guys, wearing leather jackets, a bad name.

Waht would happen if my car broke down in a residential neighborhood, and I didnt have my cell phone…and it was dark out … and I needed to use the phone…and I had my tire iron with me (trying to fix my car). and I walked up to some house, where her husband was out of town, and they were getting ready to watch a movie, and she sees me at her front door.

Yes, your honor, my car really was broke.

The morale of the story is; not all us guys (and girls *wink*) that wear leather coats are bad and plan to break into your house.

I am an idiot. I think, from here on out, I need to focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus.

Becasue I am losing control of my thoughts.

Okay, a rant here. Not about the movie itself, but more like the surroundings. A few weekends back, we all went out to see Superman Returns. Not that bad of a movie actually, but 2 things stood out that bugged the hell out of me:

1. The pre-movie advertisements … Okay, I realize that advertisement makes the money go around, but seriously, do I need to see (not one but) TWO ads for hairspray, an ad for Mt. Dew, Nike, some other shoe commercial, and ads for new vehicles, like the toasterific Scion T2B? I like seeing previews for movies, since I don’t get out to them too much, I don’t have cable, and see what’s coming out on the big screen. I already know these products exist. Hell, some of the time (Mt. Dew, especially) made several appearances in the movies! Is this why we are paying almost 2x as much compared to years ago for a movie, because the actors are getting paid 30+ million to run around in Nike’s and drink Mt. Dew?

and speaking of people that do not need sugar…

2. Kids that won’t shut the hell up … and the parents that won’t do shit about it. All the time duringthe movie, a 6-year old chaterbox talked his way through the entire movie. Superman would come up on the screen (Superman, being appealing to kids, being easily identifiable, and a blockbuster at halloween-time.) he would repeat over and over and over again; “Is that Superman? Is that Superman?” …I didn’t want to be “the one’ to go over and shut him up, I would feel that it would be the parent/guardian/kidnapper’s job, but “Grandma” found it perfectly acceptable whilst her 6-year old grandkid had enough Mt. Dew in him to start running up and down the side aisles screaming and yelling the entire time. Seriously. I had to deal with Kevin Spacey “sleep” his ay through the role of Lex Luthor, I shouldn’t have been subjected to a sugar-rushed problem child.

..and the MPAA wonders why people download movies off the internet. At least those come commercial-and-audience-free.

This has happened several times. It’s disgusting.

I’m in the mens room, doing my restroom business when I look up at the wall, and someone through it was either a good idea, or proper behavior, to wipe their nose on the wall. Boogers, everywhere. I mean, some people put their hand up there for support. I mean, I pick my nose…with a kleenex, and that kleenex goes into the weastebasket. Who thought it would be a good diea to wipe their boogers on the wall “Hrmm, thiiiis looks like it belongs…HERE” *wipe* …seriously, do they do that shit at home too?

Oh, and theres this magical little handle on the back of the toilet, sometimes located at the Top Left of the tank, its used for making whatever fell out of you disappear! Sometimes I just ate, and don’t want to see that either. If any of you inhibit restroom behavior like that, at least out in public, please stop. that should be the cleanest room in your house.